Hairy Isn’t Scary

Remember when you first shaved ya pubes? I do. I was 14,

Remember when you first shaved ya pubes? I do. I was 14 and it was before I’d even got the slightest dark (ginger) hair sticking out of my nether region.

Was I considered a weirdo? Probs, but not for that reason…. Shaving pubes at such a young age was considered normal at my school and I felt like everyone else was doing it, so I ought to as well. With the benefit of hindsight, I should’ve realised upon looking at my red raw, painfully stinging mons pubis in the mirror that destroying it with my mum’s razor was not a good idea, but I’m not gonna lie, I felt cool. Tragic, I know. Whilst I can now look back and laugh at myself, it doesn’t change the fact that this is a problem and I’m not the only girl to have done this. But why the fuck do we do it and why the fuck is it normal for us to try and stay looking like a pre-pubescent boy for as long as is humanly possible?

Is it because we want to fit into boys expectations and boys expectations, let’s be honest, come from porn? From stealing copies of your parents playboy mag, bluetoothing a video with your schoolmates to now having unlimited access to the 62737239 million streams of porn, like it or loathe it our experience of sex from the age we first know what it is has porn at its centre. Appaz the lack of pubes in porn is cos we want to see as many “dicks entering vagina” (vom) as poss. Seeing hair knocking into each other instead takes us out of the moment. Whether that’s true or not, you can decide.

It doesn’t just end with a smooth skinned barbie looking vulva either, your armpits, nipples, toes must all be free of hair too cos heaven forbid the mask slips and a man sees a singular hair on our big toe, the horrors. Maybe being clean shaven makes you feel sexier or better with yourself and that’s okay but we can’t deny the itchiness and the rashes we’ve all had to put up with at one point or another. Is it really worth it?

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about myself during lockdown, it’s that it really isn’t worth it. 2020, on the whole, objectively, has been shite (need I even mention why). And yet, out of the pain of essentially staying in doors for months on end came one good thing, I stopped caring so much about how I looked and boy do I feel freer. Admittedly, I’ve never really been the type to wear a lot of makeup, get a fake tan and keep my nails pristine (no offence if this is you, u do u hun) but realising that hairy isn’t scary anywhere on my body, that I don’t need to wear an uncomfortable bra to support my small tits and that my incredibly casual sportswear actually looked cool af in public was incredibly liberating and shall not be returning to giving a shit anytime soon. I recommend you try it.

The only problem with the above, of course, is that none of it is considered socially acceptable. Reach for something in the supermarket to reveal your hairy armpits and you’re bound to get looks and people muttering under their breath. Don’t wear a bra as you walk down the street and you’re bound to get a few more glances than normal as your cold nipple protrudes through your top (it’s just for us to give milk to our babies, chill the fuck out will ya). Have hair down there and a guy is far less likely to wanna go down on you. It’s all bullshit and we need to change the record, get rid of the stigma and start doing whatever the fuck we want.

Much easier said than done and traditionally women’s rejection of body hair has been considered to be radical, coming from the most erratic and angry feminists as they make a stance to reject the porn-warped male gaze. Let’s scrap that idea and just make it normal, this with the media, be it porn or elsewhere. If they begin to make it normal to see women with at least a slither of hair on their body, then maybe just maybe, when it’s seen irl, people won’t think you’re the antichrist, sent to Earth to destroy female shaving companies (we actually might be tho). Maybe once it becomes normal, more and more people will join the revolution of caring about what feels good to them, hair or no hair, as opposed to caring about the perception of their body to outsiders, whether that’s the long term partner, the one night tinder fuck or the old lady in the supermarket. Embrace what feels good to you, life’s too short.

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