Cos life is too short to not have sex for a week every month just because the painters are in!
Sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures, second only to fizzy cherry sweets and those spikey head massager things in my humble opinion. Periods, on the other hand, can be the most uncomfortable time of the month: cramps, bloating, low energy, breakouts, sore tits, mood swings and constantly feeling knackered. So, why are you talking about sex and periods in the same sentence I hear you ask…
We’ve been conditioned in many ways to think our periods are gross and shameful. How many times have you secretly hidden your tampon up your sleeve and ran to the toilet so no one sees? Or, in 2017 when David Cameron (wanker) blocked us from viewing his backward definition of ‘unconventional’ sex acts in porn, which included menstruation, female ejaculation, whipping that leaves marks, insertion of 4 or more fingers and urination. Mate, just because your sex is shit doesn’t mean you can stop the rest of us from having a bloody laugh.
I’ve never been massively comfortable with the idea of period sex to be honest and in my last relationship; my ex would (confidently) refer to it as “blow job” week, which is rank looking back now. I knew deep down it wasn’t right, and to be completely honest with you – I couldn’t be asked to suck him off. Surely for those seven days, I’M the one who should be getting spoilt?!
Loads of us go without sex during our time of the month, or, we do have period sex but choose not to talk about it because of stigma. If you’re on the blob, the painters are in or you get a call from Aunt Flo, whatever it is you call your period – the average menstruator* has 450 periods in a lifetime. That works out to be around 2,280 days or SIX years of messy, but incredible, period sex that we’re missing out on. Life’s too short not to have sex for a week every month, I say.
Whether you’re nervous about venturing into the wide world of period sex for the first time or you’ve been an enthusiast for years but still worry about the logistics, I’m here to give you the flow-down.
*Before we get down to business, I’ll be calling people who have periods “menstruators”, because we all know that the definition goes far beyond women and girls. Even though they make up the majority of the group, I am also referring to trans men, boys, gender nonconforming, non-binary people – basically any fucker with a period. Cuppa ready? Let’s get into it.
- You’re hornier
It is not your imagination— you really are hornier when you’re on your period. So no one really knows the exact reasons why, but some scientists have looked into it and found that it’s probably down to a change in hormone levels. In simple terms, our oestrogen drops at the beginning of our cycle, and then rises steadily by the third day in, which increases our desire for friskiness.
Also, I guess the main reason why we have a period in the first place is to get preggo – so kind of makes sense that we’d be gagging for it. (sex, that is). Of course this can be different for every uterus owner.
- Orgasms can ease cramps
Yep, I’m not kidding. Penetration can increase your pain threshold by 75%, which basically means that vaginal stimulation can really help with period pains. It even rises up to 100% if you reach orgasm, but for our babes who shag men, don’t count on that.
Dr Lorna Pender knows her shit, and explains the science behind it all. She says that our “nerves don’t communicate period pain when women orgasm via vaginal stimulation”.
Also, shout out to our lesbian sisters who are down for some bloody fun. Other ways to enjoy period sex together could be through mutual masturbation, grinding or using sex toys. Checkout this list of other ideas and tips I found.
- Increased sensitivity
I don’t know about you, but when I’m on, I also find that my vagina area becomes more sensitive to touch, now this might not be the case for you but I had a look into it. During our period, more blood is drawn to our pelvic region, which helps with uterine shedding and that can cause additional sensitivity.
Do you experience heightened sensitivity?
- Creates a bond
Because period sex has been so hush hush, it’s kind of become a thrill or something exciting to do with your partner. For menstruators, opening up (literally) to your partner when on your period makes you vulnerable and gives you opportunity to build on your trust.
I started a discussion on Instagram and one hilarious response read, “Every guy I’ve fucked on my period, won’t leave me alone”
- Just get over it
Sex is sex, with or without blood. If you are the person having sex with someone who is menstruating, I promise you that once you get over the ‘gore’, or shame, you’ll have some great sex. Plus, their period blood will cause 0 harm to your body, genitals, tongue, hands, whatever.
If you do decide to give it a go (we love to see it), here are some top tips:
Tips:
– Towel: Lay a dark / red towel on the bed or surface you want to have sex on. That way, any blood stains will be less visible. From experience, I’d recommend having sex in missionary position – I find this causes the least mess. Btw, keep reading for my family’s secret remedy on how to remove them.
– Shower: Have you tried shower sex before? This could be a fun and less messy alternative. Or, just have a quick shower after the session and it’ll be like nothing ever happened! Also, definitely keep a loo roll close by for easy access in case of any red surprises 😉
– SOLO sex: So we know that penetration can ease period cramps, but if that’s not for you then solo sex it is! You can have a tampon or menstrual cup inside your vagina, leaving your clit ready to stimulate. Why not try FirstBase for the best orgasm of your life?
– Have sex on your lighter days: less blood, less mess, still sex.
– Use a condom: Or as Jeremy Kyle (awful bloke) famously used to say, PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT! If your sex education at school was barely there (like mine), then you’ve probs believed the totally missguided and innacurate assumption that sex on your period means you can’t get pregnant. This isn’t the case, you can still get up the duff and catch STI’s. So take Jezza’s advice.
For penis owners, a condom will act as a barrier between your skin and period blood. And for mentruators, Softdisk are also idea for acting as a block between period blood and anything entering the vagina – not a form of contraception, though.
– Family Secret: Rub lemon onto any blood stained clothes / bed sheets, and then pour over loads of table salt. Leave for about 10 mins and then shove it in washing machine as normal. Should do the trick.
It took me a combo of maturing, finding my voice in the bedroom and learning about my sexual desires to become completely comfortable with period sex. But now I’m here, flying the big red flag, it was well worth the wait. So fellow menstruators of the world, it’s time to prioritise and embrace your pleasure even when you’re on your period. Yes, it can be bloody. Yes, it can be messy. But, it can also be really fucking hot.
Disclaimer: Period sex is not for everyone and that’s cool. You should do whatever feels the most comfortable for you and not feel pressured into it.
Even though there are lots of benefits to period sex, sometimes a head massage and a bag of fizzy cherries does the job.