Fuck You Freud

IN 1969 WE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON. IN 1989 WE INVENTED THE WORLD WIDE WEB. IN 1998 WE DISCOVERED THE FULL ANATOMY OF THE CLITORIS.

Female pleasure has been left out of the convo, but really it’s no surprise when society and science has been dominated by men for years.

Let’s just take our “mate” Freud. In the early 1900s he did some good ol’ mansplaining about female sexuality. Maybe he was just trying to cover up some poor performance in the bedroom… but he made it ALL about penetration. Yep, in out in out in out… Yawn. That’s right ladies, the man’s penis is central to your satisfaction. Forget your “amputated penis”, have a vaginal orgasm to tick the REAL WOMAN-box. No wonder we all deserve an Oscar for the Best Fake Orgasm.

DISCLAIMER: Freud did not base his theory upon a real study of woman’s anatomy, but rather upon his assumptions of woman as inferior to men. Sounds legit.

Best of Freud: HOW TO BECOME A WOMAN

STEP 1. Forget you have a clit, DANGER DANGER it’s an amputated penis!! You should never cum from rubbing it- naturally that means you’re immature & maybe even a wee bit mentally ill.

STEP 2. Orgasm through penetration alone – super easy right!! Then you can tick the REAL WOMAN-box and have rightfully proved that you’re not frigid. Cause god forbid.

STEP 3. Now, even though you’re obviously not frigid, please don’t have your own sexual desires. You’re here to please.

 

It’s at this point we want to highlight that contrast to Freud’s fucked up thinking, the female orgasm does not come from the vagina, where there are fewer nerve endings. 

Rather, women orgasm from stimulation of the “clitourethrovaginal complex,” (oooo long word) a structure of nerve endings which extends from the external part of the clit deep into the body.

That means that rather than there being anatomically different “clitoral” and “vaginal” orgasms, clitoral stimulation is actually the basis of all orgasms SHOCK HORROR.  

Stigma against women continues to contribute to an orgasm gap with the clitoris still consistently misunderstood but for the occasional rub during some shit foreplay. Yawn. 

So as an ode to Freud and the rest of society that told us otherwise, we bring you First Base to celebrate all things clitoral! WOOP WOOP.