My First Time With The Washing Machine

You Spin Me Right Round Baby…

We’re nosy, so we asked you what you first masturbated with. Turns out, you’re all so bloody hilarious, so we thought we’d turn it into a blog. Enjoy!

**Can… or can not be used for some DIY inspo while you’re stuck in quarantine.**

Right round like a record baby… My first time with the washing machine.

“Ya ok well basically I didn’t know about masturbating or anything before my best guy friend asked me if I did it, and I was like sorry what! Me and my girl friends at the time never spoke about it, lol, anyway he explained it to me and at first I was like god no but then…

I was doing the washing one day, no one was home and I dunno why but our washing machine moves out when it’s doing a wash. I was tryna push it back in and the angle I did it at just full on just felt good. I was shocked but I kept tryna move into it closer, nearly tryna get on top of the corner of it. My horny ass wasnt fully satisfying but it honestly felt so good hahaha.

I wasn’t worried about my parents coming home cus I could just hop off anytime.

I did try it again but it just wasn’t the same, but it really opened me up to the idea of like masturbating and stuff which to me is so funny. A washing machine like lol.”


Gone with the pencil

“I used a pencil during a history lesson once.

I was sat at the back of the class having the time of my life hahahaha

So we were watching a really boring film in History. Like when I say boring – I mean: black and white, loads of testosterone fuelled men launching weapons at each other kind of boring – and I’m such a day dreamer, so I was just biting my pencil, drifting in and out of concentration (think Britney Oops I did it again vid except less cute). I just used the blunt end of my pencil to start stroking myself over my tights, initially it was out of boredom but then it started to tickle and feel good. So I continued to do it, applying more pressure. It was kindve naughty because I was in a room with like 30 people, but the lights were off and no one knew what I was up to. 

I probably shouldn’t share this but my teacher was actually sat right next to me (crying).”

Goldilocks and The Screwdriver

“Well I was really young when I started becoming interested in masturbation. I can’t really remember what drove me to it tbh, but I have a memory of sitting on the edge of my chair at school and accidentally hitting a good spot and thinking ‘maybe I’ll try this out on purpose at home…’. 

After some time of just fondling I remember trying a hairbrush handle and it was too big, I tried the handle of a toothbrush which was too small and then I found the screwdriver and it was perfect, a bit of a Goldilocks scenario.

I tried the toothbrush because I’d used it before as it was electronic and vibrated, it was a constant companion of mine for a couple years till I got my debit card at 16 and bought my first vibrator online. The screw driver lasted for a while and after I got comfortable with the size I graduated to the hairbrush handle.

I shared a bedroom with my sister and I was on the top bunk so even though I really enjoyed myself I had to be really quiet!”

Sharing’s Caring… I borrowed my sister’s vibrator

I remember I came home one day and I was going to take a shower and needed to borrow a pair of socks from my sister and I went into her bottom drawer. I dug around until I felt something hard. I pulled it out and it was this pink dildo.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed the soap and cleaned it off. I sat on the toilet opened my legs and put the dildo on high and pressed it to my clit. It felt amazing and I had came soooo quickly.  Once I couldn’t take the vibrations anymore I knew I had finished. I tried to put it in but it just didn’t feel right. So I washed it off and put it back in my sisters drawer.

Back then I was a virgin and didn’t know much about sex. I did end up buying a bullet vibrator at 21 tho.”

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