A Love Letter To Lube

The majority of us misunderstand you, and I’d go as far to call you the unsung hero of millennial sex. Let’s raise a toast to you, lube.

By Katriana Ciccotto

To my darling lube (or lubrication if we’re being poshe), 

On behalf of all shaggers in the UK, I thank you. Thank you for being there with us through the hard times, the dry times and the ever-so-slightly tingly times. But, it’s time I admitted my true feelings.

For years I was haunted by the taboo of feeling “less of a woman” for using you, so I’d sneakily spit on my hand instead to feel sexy. I neglected you, dismissed your worth, shrugged you off as something for desperately horny teenage boys. Or something I’d only need as an older woman, later in life, to go for a half arsed shag after Corrie with my bored long-term partner. Little did I know that without you, his slide into my DM wouldn’t have slid much further. 

The majority of us misunderstand you, and I’d go as far to call you the unsung hero of millennial sex. Despite all of this, you don’t hate or discriminate – fanny’s, bums, willy’s or nipples, you’re there for us all. 

So, this is my attempt to broadcast your worth to the world – an ode to your talents. Let’s raise a toast to you, lube. 

Your’s sincerely, 

Katriana.

Ok, so I’m obviously taking the piss with the farfetched letter but on a serious note I do think lube is completely underrated.

Here’s why:

  • Because we all don’t have a WAP (and shouldn’t have to)

Women have been force-fed the idea that if we can’t get wet at the instant sight of a boner, our coochies are broken, ‘old’ or inadequate. NEWS FLASH, the wetness of my vagina has nothing to do with how interested I am mentally or physically in what’s about to go down. Ever heard of discharge?!

Then you’ve got other factors like vaginismus, endometriosis or PTSD which are just some of the examples, which can lead to dryness. Even dips in oestrogen levels throughout your period can mean less natural moistness (wahey), who knew? 

The thing is, when you’re turned on, it can sometimes take your body ages to catch up to your horny mind – and that’s completely normal! It doesn’t mean a single bad thing about how sexy you are or how attracted you are to your partner.  That’s why ‘foreplay’ is so important to get yourself in the mood for, as my mum calls it, hanky panky. 

  • It’s a pleasure enhancer…

…however you define pleasure! For some folks, lube adds comfort, reduces dryness and can enhance sensations (oioiii). There are water, silicone, CBD, and hybrid based lubes designed to mimic your natural bodily moistness  – we’d recommend a good trusty water-based one.  

Be careful though, avoid toxic ingredients like glycerin – it’s the devils work and can leads to all sorts of pain and discomfort like yeast infections or micro tears (which would make a yeast infection WAY worse). A natural lube is definitely worth reading into + spending a bit of dollar on. 

  • Spit Isn’t Lube

I wish I could have told my 18 year old self this? Trying anal sex for the first time on my girls holiday to Ayia Napa circa 2018 with no ‘foreplay’, no lube and no clue was fucking traumatic. I vividly remember letting out a pig-like squeal which was enough to put us both off from ever trying it again. 

*Top tip* With lube, I’d say start with 2-3 blobs and see what happens because you can always add more. Annoyingly, lubes aren’t eternal and after a while your bits will get dry again so you’ll need to add a little more luuuuurv juice.

  • Solo Sex

Don’t limit yourself to just using lube use with someone else. I absolutely cannot use my clit vibrator without lube especially on those high intensity vibration modes. 

A word of warning though, silicone-based products can damage the silicone of your toy, so go for water-based to be safe.

  • Hakuna Matata

It means no worries!  Yes, I’m serious – lube can free up your mind to stay present in the sex at hand. Worrying about being too dry to have sex is almost guaranteed to backfire (trust me). 

Using a lube can help with any anxiety around that. It will also make your partner less worried about causing you discomfort. Winner winner, chicken dinner. 

  • Bum Sex

The anus doesn’t naturally lubricate so if anal play is your thang, lube is BAE. You’ll want to get your hands on one especially for anal sex – these tend to last longer and protect you even more against tears etc (I don’t want to think about how painful an anal tear could be tbh). 

It’s also worth saying that just like Vaseline and other oils (eg coconut oil), oil-based lubes should NOT be used with condoms because they make them less safe and more likely to split. They also alter the pH and bacteria levels of your bits, which can lead to infections. No, thanks.

  • Reduces friction 

Every little helps *pats arse*. Just a little squirt can be enough to get you and your natural juices flowing. With lube, you’ll find that you can keep going and that thrusting becomes more pleasurable and comfortable as a result (shoutout to round 6 gang). 

I’ve definitely been there, having a steamy night of sex with someone which results in me waddling around like a penguin for three days later. Now as flattering as that might be for my partner… fuck that. Even if you do have a constant WAP, lube will make that slipping and sliding even easier and may even encourage you to try some mad positions. 

Having said that, lube defo isn’t just for penetration, have you ever tried tingly lube on your nips? Thank me later x

 

So yeah, basically for ages I wrongly thought that lube was useless to me. I associated it with getting older and the thought of using it made me feel inadequate as a woman but these myths are literally bullshite. Not only is it loads of fun to play with all of the different textures and possibilities of the sticky stuff, it’s also really important for safer sex. It reduces the risk of getting hurt when proper going at it or when having anal. Just remember to check the ingredients, do a patch test and check the compatibility with your sex toys and contraception. Cos there’s some nasty shit out there.

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